Step 5

Step 5: Admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

James 5:16

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My first fifth step was scary. I felt as if I were a failure....I yelled at my children when I was overwhelmed (God bless their sweet hearts), I slammed cabinet doors when I was angry at my husband for not seeing that I needed help, I was dishonest...lying to cover up my fears...or to cover the effects of my husband's drinking on my life. I was embarrassed to have been out-of-control with my food for so many precious years, etc, etc, etc.

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It was amazing, though, when I told my sponsor all my nitty gritty. She didn't even blink an eye, but instead she identified with my pain...and gave me hope of a new way to live in the days to come.

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I left her home, ripped up my fourth step writing in a thousand pieces and threw in in the dumpster outside her apartment. I can still remember the freedom and the joy in seeing those pages flying through the air.

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That was the beginning stages of a life-long surrender process...

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Confession is good for the soul.

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I used to think that talking to God was enough, but there is something really healing about doing the steps as they are laid out.