Step 12

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, family and friends and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

"It is God himself, in his mercy, who has given us this wonderful work [of telling his Good News to others] and so we never give up.

2 Corinthians 4:1, The Living Bible

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For me, I had to get free from my food addiction and food obsession before I could spread the good news of Jesus to anyone. That's why I say that abstinence is the zero step.

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The 12-steps of recovery was the map that got me out of the pit of despair--hopeless and helpless state of being. Therefore, I share the good news of recovery as a common ground, a mission-field, so to speak.

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Then...down the road... if people want more, I share the gift of salvation and the joy that I have found in knowing Jesus.

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He is my rock and the joy of the Lord is my strength.

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I see the 12th step as an opportunity to testify that the program works.

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It's attraction, not promotion. In other words, it's not as much what I say, but how I live my life that brings people into the fold. I often say, "preach always and if necessary use words."

Step 9

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Colossians 3:13, NIV

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This step is not fun or easy, but it's so worth it. It comes down to forgiveness of myself first and then the people who I had harmed. I have to forgive them...and love them as Jesus loves and forgives me (with all my "stuff.") if this step is going to be meaningful and everlasting.

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In other words, I have to step out of judgement and justification/rationalization of how "they deserved" my attitude or whatever I had done to hurt them. I look at MY part in the problem...and not only apologize but make every attempt to live in the solution, which is a "living amends".

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One simple example is when my children were small. I used to yell at them unmercifully! Yes, they were doing things that didn't please me, but they certainly didn't deserve my attitude or my outlandish behavior! I apologized but then had to STOP YELLING. That was the hard part!!!

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I have to humbly admit, too, I did the apologizing bit for two years (2 times when I hit this step in my step study) but nothing changed. On the third year (my third time working through the l2-steps), one of my children looked me straight in the eyes and said (I remember this like it was yesterday), "Mom, why do you keep telling me that but still do it?" OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!! My heart sunk to the floor when I realized that I was not truly "working" this step.

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If nothing changes, nothing changes.

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After that, I actually stopped yelling. They have told me that they don't remember my yelling today. Thank You, God.